Sooner or later, every child has secrets. But whether he is entitled to it? It often happens that parents, knowing that the child was hiding something, trying, by all means, to find out from him what had happened. But whether it is necessary to do so?
First, you need to take into account the fact that children do love mystery. The secret they can do nothing. For example, a child may have something to hide, and the main thing that no one knew about it – and this is a secret.
It often happens that even the most open children tell parents not all. But for every parent, your child’s important to see through, and know that he did not hide from them. After all, what are the mystery and the ability to hide it, in their opinion, may appear in a child, not earlier than in adolescence. Although in reality, the mystery may appear in younger children.
Children of primary school age
Children of primary school age are often the secrets of the subjective categories. In most of the thoughts and desires that are very important for the baby and belong only to him.
Such mental secrets form the basis of an internal self-awareness of the child. This is the world of his dreams, hopes, and desires. There it is when the child is already beginning to be aware of himself as a person.
The parents of the “dreamer” to behave more sensitively with high accuracy. For the child, along with the desire to have a secret, there is always a thirst to share it with someone you know.
What should parents do?
1. If the child told his parents about his thoughts, secrets, it is necessary to respect the information, understand the importance of it to the child, keep in mind that in children their understanding of the scale of the plan.
2. In no case can not shy away from what you shared with your child, the more ridicule, inquire details, rebuke, wondering how it could have come to him in the head.
If you make a mistake, the consequences could be disastrous. The child may permanently lose trust in adults. And then do not expect further harmony and mutual understanding in the family. It should not be too much to settle the child and elicit from him all the details.
The more difficult situation with teenage children.
At the age of 14 – 16 years there is a certain separation of the child from the parents,
that some are no longer an example of inheritance. But do not worry about this, it is absolutely normal. The Too trusting relationship between parents and children are not the norm in adolescence.
At the age of 15-16 years, it is considered absolutely normal if the child has its secrets and mysteries. After all, he has his own personal boundaries, and can independently determine, what and with whom he will talk and discuss that.
What should parents do?
1. Do not be afraid to lose contact with the child becoming an adult. We need to deal with him so that your interest in his life did not seem intrusive. Do not climb into his soul, if he does not let you go.
2. Try not to put pressure on the child, trying to find out the details of his personal life and find out his secret thoughts. If at the moment he does not want to talk to you, wait until it is he needs. Just be available when he wants to share with their experiences and thoughts.
3. Do not try to judge if this teenager or teach him to live, and, remembering herself as a teenager, try to treat your child with understanding.